On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
My breasts were aching with rage.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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