well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
We're using joints as your birthday candles
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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