Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
