Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
