I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Just cropdusted the office
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Randomize