my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
my poor anus
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
