Where is the hickey?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
