I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
