She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
