i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
