Your tits are I can't wait for
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
