somebody snuck up and got me drunk
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
There r osticjed everywhere
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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