I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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