ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
