I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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