Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
