i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
