Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
