girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
