dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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