I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize