i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
