I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
