Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
The power of my boobs compel you
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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