Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
