You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
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When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
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I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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