ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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