I just cut my nipple shaving
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
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