bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
How external is "for external use only"?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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