id be glad to
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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