I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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