We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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