5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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