I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
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I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
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Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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