well I can't set my house on fire every night
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
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I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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