from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
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I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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