Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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