Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
