If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
