the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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