Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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