Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
