We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
