im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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