trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize