Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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