So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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