ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router