She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.