I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
