is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
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Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
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Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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