all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
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His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
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I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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