You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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