my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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