dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
