Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
