I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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