he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
