Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
